Nokia Customer Service… Fish, Barrel, Shooting…

Nokia. Say what you like about their phones and software (and indeed we do), plenty of people like them and they can’t all be wrong… (can they?)

Their customer service, however, often leaves a lot to be desired – we’ve covered it before at length. So here for your guffawing pleasure is their response to Richard Mason who wrote to ask if they wouldn’t mind awfully moving a scroll bar…

It’s not as if I had asked Nokia about their theory on existentialism, I was simply asking them if it was at all possible, somewhere down the line, if they could move the scrollbar on my Nokia 5800 to the left hand side. That’s all.

The response is genius… no wait… the other thing… awful:

Dear Richard,

Thankyou for contacting Nokia Care. We appreciate you choosing Nokia as

your preferred device.

We acknowledge your feedback. We understand the unpleasant Impact to

our customers for all issues they have experienced that we currently

improving on.

Any circumstances such as this has been carefully investigated and we

understand this cause you inconvenience as it to us. Nevertheless, all

feedbacks like these Nokia accepted this as a big challenge in order for us

to be more competitive, improved and to be more successful from our errors.

We would like to thank you for bringing this up to our attention. All

complaints from our customers like you are considered as you value our

product that requires an immediate attention.

For future reference, please feel free to check our website.

Kindly refer to the link below:

http://www.nokia.co.uk/home

You may also call our Customer Care Hotline at 0845-045-5555, Mon-Fri

9am-7pm (except bank and public holidays)

Please don't hesitate to contact us again if you have any further questions.

Yours faithfully,

Johnson N

Nokia Service Professional

UK & Ireland Team

Nokia Care

Source: Bitterwallet

Image Credit: striatic, Flickr

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.reinvent.ro Catalin Giboi

    I hate when companies use custom built email responses. It’s like talking to a mirror. Same with Amazon…

  • http://invalid.name DanLane

    The good news here is that “The Really Mobile Project Business Consultancy Dept (Handset division)” is willing to put forward a proposal to automate Nokia’s customer service e-mails. Our proposal consists of several half-arsed BASH scripts and an old version of Sendmail from 1997 but will yield a whopping 80% increase in readability and results have consistently scored above 90% on the “doesn’t sound like it was written by a 419 scammer” index.

    All for the low price of only 10 eurocents per handset sold by Nokia (backdated to 2001, fee due monthly, each license fee allows the use of the automated e-mail service with UNLIMITED***** customers, fair usage of 0.5 customer per license applies, this service is not compatible with Maemo powered handsets)

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I just can’t imagine how anyone could let that be sent, whether pre-written or otherwise… Those are not the words of a competent English-speaker.

  • http://www.adonisdemon.com Abul

    SOLD!

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Simples?

  • http://www.reinvent.ro Catalin Giboi

    They are as English speakers as those famous BT support team ;)

    Kidding aside, I happened to know people who had this job, of creating automated responses and the software that matched the answer to whatever you write, and I can tell you that they have no clue about business, customers or PR. They are low-payed (people who wrote those) ignorants (people who implement those answers).

    Great combo, heh? :)

  • Anonymous

    The thought process for the “Advisor”:
    1) Humm which template should I use…Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…perfect.
    2) OK now i’ll just stick the customers name at the top and my name at the bottom to give it a “personal” touch!
    3) Send e-mail (that was the easiest part yet…no need to even think)
    4) Ow no…I accidentally deleted the e-mail the customer sent…what a shame
    5) This is an easy job!!!…who’s next?

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Epic.

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I have some Nokia-related news soon… so I might be able to test that theory… Watch this space.

  • Anonymous

    you have got me intrigued!

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.rickycadden.com Ricky Cadden

    Just, wow.

  • http://www.reinvent.ro CGiboi

    I hate when companies use custom built email responses. It's like talking to a mirror. Same with Amazon…

  • http://www.reinvent.ro CGiboi

    I hate when companies use custom built email responses. It's like talking to a mirror. Same with Amazon…

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I just can't imagine how anyone could let that be sent, whether pre-written or otherwise… Those are not the words of a competent English-speaker.

  • http://invalid.name DanLane

    The good news here is that “The Really Mobile Project Business Consultancy Dept (Handset division)” is willing to put forward a proposal to automate Nokia's customer service e-mails. Our proposal consists of several half-arsed BASH scripts and an old version of Sendmail from 1997 but will yield a whopping 80% increase in readability and results have consistently scored above 90% on the “doesn't sound like it was written by a 419 scammer” index.All for the low price of only 10 eurocents per handset sold by Nokia (backdated to 2001, fee due monthly, each license fee allows the use of the automated e-mail service with UNLIMITED***** customers, fair usage of 0.5 customer per license applies, this service is not compatible with Maemo powered handsets)

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I just can't imagine how anyone could let that be sent, whether pre-written or otherwise… Those are not the words of a competent English-speaker.

  • http://invalid.name DanLane

    The good news here is that “The Really Mobile Project Business Consultancy Dept (Handset division)” is willing to put forward a proposal to automate Nokia's customer service e-mails. Our proposal consists of several half-arsed BASH scripts and an old version of Sendmail from 1997 but will yield a whopping 80% increase in readability and results have consistently scored above 90% on the “doesn't sound like it was written by a 419 scammer” index.

    All for the low price of only 10 eurocents per handset sold by Nokia (backdated to 2001, fee due monthly, each license fee allows the use of the automated e-mail service with UNLIMITED***** customers, fair usage of 0.5 customer per license applies, this service is not compatible with Maemo powered handsets)

  • http://www.adonisdemon.com Abul

    SOLD!

  • http://www.adonisdemon.com Abul

    SOLD!

  • http://www.adonisdemon.com Abul

    SOLD!

  • http://www.adonisdemon.com Abul

    SOLD!

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Simples?

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Simples?

  • http://www.reinvent.ro CGiboi

    They are as English speakers as those famous BT support team ;)

    Kidding aside, I happened to know people who had this job, of creating automated responses and the software that matched the answer to whatever you write, and I can tell you that they have no clue about business, customers or PR. They are low-payed (people who wrote those) ignorants (people who implement those answers).

    Great combo, heh? :)

  • http://www.reinvent.ro CGiboi

    They are as English speakers as those famous BT support team ;) Kidding aside, I happened to know people who had this job, of creating automated responses and the software that matched the answer to whatever you write, and I can tell you that they have no clue about business, customers or PR. They are low-payed (people who wrote those) ignorants (people who implement those answers).Great combo, heh? :)

  • llaadd

    The thought process for the “Advisor”:1) Humm which template should I use…Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…perfect.2) OK now i'll just stick the customers name at the top and my name at the bottom to give it a “personal” touch!3) Send e-mail (that was the easiest part yet…no need to even think)4) Ow no…I accidentally deleted the e-mail the customer sent…what a shame5) This is an easy job!!!…who's next?

  • llaadd

    The thought process for the “Advisor”:
    1) Humm which template should I use…Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…perfect.
    2) OK now i'll just stick the customers name at the top and my name at the bottom to give it a “personal” touch!
    3) Send e-mail (that was the easiest part yet…no need to even think)
    4) Ow no…I accidentally deleted the e-mail the customer sent…what a shame
    5) This is an easy job!!!…who's next?

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Epic.

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    Epic.

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I have some Nokia-related news soon… so I might be able to test that theory… Watch this space.

  • http://benjam.in Ben Smith

    I have some Nokia-related news soon… so I might be able to test that theory… Watch this space.

  • llaadd

    you have got me intrigued!

  • llaadd

    you have got me intrigued!

  • Neil Hoskins

    I once suggested an improvement to the Nokia Music Store and they suggested I re-flash my handset.

  • http://thereallymobileproject.com/ Really Mobile

    Do you have the e-mail chain? I’d love to collect these together…

  • Neil Hoskins

    I once suggested an improvement to the Nokia Music Store and they suggested I re-flash my handset.

  • Neil Hoskins

    I once suggested an improvement to the Nokia Music Store and they suggested I re-flash my handset.

  • http://thereallymobileproject.com/ Really Mobile

    Do you have the e-mail chain? I'd love to collect these together…

  • http://thereallymobileproject.com/ Really Mobile

    Do you have the e-mail chain? I'd love to collect these together…

  • http://phoneboy.com phoneboy

    Surprised nobody has brought up the truly continual epic fail of Nokia Care: Getting hardware faults repaired or bricked handsets replaced–especially if you bought the handset in one country and try and get it repaired in another.

  • http://phoneboy.com phoneboy

    Surprised nobody has brought up the truly continual epic fail of Nokia Care: Getting hardware faults repaired or bricked handsets replaced–especially if you bought the handset in one country and try and get it repaired in another.

  • http://phoneboy.com phoneboy

    Surprised nobody has brought up the truly continual epic fail of Nokia Care: Getting hardware faults repaired or bricked handsets replaced–especially if you bought the handset in one country and try and get it repaired in another.

  • http://twitter.com/TheProdigalFool The Prodigal Fool

    Unbelievable.

    Except wait, no, that’s exactly what I’ve come to expect from Nokia so actually it’s all too believable.

    Contrast that with my experience with Apple’s customer service: http://theprodigalguide.com/2009/08/22/prodigal-customer-service-from-apple/

  • http://twitter.com/TheProdigalFool The Prodigal Fool

    Unbelievable.Except wait, no, that's exactly what I've come to expect from Nokia so actually it's all too believable.Contrast that with my experience with Apple's customer service: http://theprodigalguide.com/2009/08/22/prodigal...

  • http://twitter.com/TheProdigalFool The Prodigal Fool

    Unbelievable.

    Except wait, no, that's exactly what I've come to expect from Nokia so actually it's all too believable.

    Contrast that with my experience with Apple's customer service: http://theprodigalguide.com/2009/08/22/prodigal...

  • Anonymous

    Simple solution really – don’t emailing low-paid, unskilled customer support teams about changes you want made in an OS. Go straight to the developers of the software.

    Now, I agree that these guys should be able to field this kind of question. I’m just saying that it’s not your only channel.

  • brendan_donegan

    Simple solution really – don't emailing low-paid, unskilled customer support teams about changes you want made in an OS. Go straight to the developers of the software.Now, I agree that these guys should be able to field this kind of question. I'm just saying that it's not your only channel.

  • brendan_donegan

    Simple solution really – don't emailing low-paid, unskilled customer support teams about changes you want made in an OS. Go straight to the developers of the software.

    Now, I agree that these guys should be able to field this kind of question. I'm just saying that it's not your only channel.

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